gossip girl

i am an open gossip girl fan, i absolutely love that show, i am so buying season 2 on dvd.
today's episode was exceptionally special. the acting, the editing, and the choice of music, was exactly how i would have done it myself if i was ever lucky enough to work on the show. fantastic.

what the show made me realize today not the reoccoruing theme of how badly i want to be a rich kid with rich kid problems, but on the contrary, how badly i want to be loved.

its incredible, but all i really want right now is to be held, to feel a man's breath over my own, smell his skin, hide in the indents of his neck, i cant stand this urge, but holding another is all i really want (this sensitivity was brought out of me during the scene where blair and chuck hold each other on the bed, ugh).

gah, what is wrong with me?

--- on other news ----

the boy working at starbucks keeps smiling at me and has offered me free coffee twice by now, we had an awkward exchange the other day where he said thanks to my thanks and we kept dashing glances at one another and saying thanks...a coffee addict falling in love with a starbucks barista...a new age love story i can get to before hollywood can