i woke up to a bbm from rikki asking to go to yoga. we went to the 10:30 class, contorted in lunge positions for 45 minutes, and i am not relaxed or poised at all, just stiff everywhere. my back, my shoulders, my inner thighs, they all pain from stiffness and something terrible and unfamiliar coming to the surface that was awakened by the downward dog or child's pose.

i wonder what my body is trying to tell me, its not like im new to yoga, but this terrible stiffness and muscle pain is new to me. maybe i hit a spot where i hid all of my secrets and they are all resurfacing in the forms of physical agony. 

maybe im one of those sleepwalkers who does crazy things by night but doesnt remember them in the morning. maybe my sore inner thighs are paining from my alias's loose ways with the men she comes across. (i wish)

i need to become more free, with my body and attitude and everything. i need to get more things done without making such a big pain out of everything, because to summarize the cure for my current condition: i just need to relax.