i want to fall in love with my own personal john lennon. i want to stop searching and struggling but just find him. as nice as things have been lately learning to be with myself, the lonely bug is kicking in and i don't know what to do anymore. it's back to me feeling someone sleeping next to me in order to rock my own self into slumber.

today my eye twitching began. it didnt stop right away like how the usual spasm does. it just kept twitching, at first un noticible around the bottom of my eye, then slowly shifting to the left, then all the way up my brow, where a girl at the library saw my face morphing and destroying itself from stress, over thinking, and this never ending nausea.

my nose hurts like im going to cry but the truth is, i havent cried since september from a series of bad news and getting over the past. i didn't think about the past so much as i have this past week. i want to move away. i cant live here anymore. back to my nap, even though its 1:16 am. i used to think no one read this, now that i know people do, i want to post a small disclaimer about how absolutely unstable screwed my whole mentality and outlook on 100% everything is.

i am going to delaware tomorrow with lia to visit emily. i will post pictures and updates and all of the fun stuff blogging is supposed to be about later.